Click on the individual photos for the full in-your-face Patel experience. It's like being blasted in the face by a water cannon. Wear goggles.

All photos (c) Andy Hollingworth Archive except the one of me yawning, which is Ben Fogg @benfogg.

The homepage image of me on a quad bike is by Matt Beese at who threatened me with legal action unless I credited him (I sent him a picture of a kitten on WhatsApp, which calmed him slightly, so hopefully I have avoided another ruinous legal episode).